Polyester Iconz

ATM: Double Dare

2008-03-07T22:20:00.001-07:00

ATM: Born Into Brothels

2008-01-18T22:52:00.000-07:00

Slowly paced but worth seeing.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/born_into_brothels/

ATM: Troy

2007-12-12T10:33:00.001-07:00

This was ok - but not quite as good as your average epic.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/troy/

ATM: The Rules of Attraction

2007-12-10T14:11:00.000-07:00

What do you know? Take a pretty good book, mix it with overacting pills and you get this shitty waste of time. That Dawson's Creek guy is horrible. The only interesting thing was the Victor montage which has nothing really to do with the story. I expected much more from the dude who directed KILLING ZOE.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/rules_of_attraction/

ATM: Knocked Up

2007-12-10T14:08:00.000-07:00

I laughed my ass off....until the lull in the middle....then laughed my ass off some more.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/knocked_up/

RIF: The Cramps - A Short History of Rock 'n' Roll Psychosis

2007-12-07T15:42:00.000-07:00

A must read for any psychobilly fans out there.

ATM: Run Lola Run

2007-12-05T09:19:00.000-07:00

First, let me tell you I'm not a big fan of Techno music - with the exception of DEVO who fucking rule. Anyway, from the first note I was drumming along for the entire 80+ minutes. I kept waiting for Lola to run into Renton from Trainspotting and start dancing w/ Mrs. Brownstone….but we'll save that for the sequel. This was a really cool movie, with zero down time to bitch about the subtitles (which I prefer even for English films). This is definitely worth a repeat viewing!

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/run_lola_run/

ATM: Hedwig & The Angry Inch

2007-12-03T12:56:00.000-07:00

I've wanted to see this movie for years. I was not disappointed. Great story, great movie. I wish I could have seen the play.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/hedwig_and_the_angry_inch/

ATM: Smoke Signals

2007-12-03T12:51:00.000-07:00

Very interesting movie about finding yourself. Things I learned:

Native Americans love their Fry Bread. Sort of like Irish with their spirits I suppose. Oh yeah, alcohol is also a big thing on the reservations.
Geeky Native Americans sound like the people from FARGO. That was unexpected.
When Indians cut their locks, their hairline moves to just about their eyebrows - kind of weird.

Anyway, check out this flick - It's really good.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/smoke_signals/

Best Quote Of 2007

2007-11-30T09:07:00.000-07:00

By Chris Rock,

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and three of the most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon"

ATM: Disturbia

2007-11-27T07:53:00.000-07:00

Rear Window re-write that had just enough to keep me interested….for a PG-13 thriller. Throw and R on that bad boy and let the neighbor chick swim naked - then this would be a classic.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/disturbia/

ATM: Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

2007-11-26T09:05:00.000-07:00

Imagine this, a quirky movie from Wes Anderson. I know it's a stretch, but that's what you get here. I thought this was pretty good, although I'm glad I didn't drop any green on this at the theatre. The highlight for me was listening to Seu George's fantastic Bowie covers.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/life_aquatic/

JOTD: Deadbeat in a Bar

2007-11-26T09:01:00.000-07:00

A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink.

He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."

So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"

But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."

The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once, but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."

The bartender said, "Your only son, I'm guessing."

ATM: Planet Terror

2007-11-24T12:59:00.000-07:00

Robert Rodriguez's half of GRINDHOUSE. Great gore and interesting story. The Zombies weren't typical which was OK - my only question is how did Candy fire her gun-leg....and when will Tarantino stop acting.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/grindhouse/

RIF: If I Did It

2007-11-24T12:54:00.000-07:00

Why was this written again? Not interesting or revealing.

http://newsblaze.com/story/20070919172435tsop.nb/topstory.html

ATM: The Bourne Supremecy

2007-11-24T12:52:00.000-07:00

Not as good as the first, but better than most spy films.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/bourne_supremacy/

ATM: 10 Things I Hate About You

2007-11-24T12:49:00.000-07:00

Precictable John Hughes ripoff bullshit teen comedy. Pretty much a waste of time.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/10_things_i_hate_about_you/

ATM: Bottle Rocket

2007-11-21T09:25:00.000-07:00

I saw BOTTLE ROCKET for the second time last night. I enjoyed it more the first time but still a very good movie and worth checking out even though outside of the Wilson Brothers, the other actors are just reading their lines.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/bottle_rocket/

ATM: No Country For Old Men

2007-11-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

Classic crime drama from the Cohen brothers. Bardem's character is one of the great sociopaths of all time.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/no_country_for_old_men/

ATM: The Bourne Identity

2007-11-15T20:08:00.000-07:00

Great movie - it would have been more fun to see at the theatre.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/bourne_identity/

ATM: The Break-Up

2007-11-13T13:46:00.000-07:00

This felt like THE WAR OF THE ROSES on whussy pills - that's not to say I didn't like the film. I really did and it was fun to see all the Chicago sites.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/break_up/

ATM: The Grudge 2

2007-11-06T12:25:00.001-07:00

One of the better sequels I've seen - equally as creepy as the first but when will it end?

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/grudge_2/

ATM: Tommy

2007-11-06T12:20:00.000-07:00

I'm a huge WHO fan so I eventually had to see this. I'm kind of sorry that I did - what a pile of shit. A Rock Star playing the Mesiah - what a stretch. The first half was cool as my back medication (soma) kicked in right around Tina Turners performance. Elton John was kind of bizarrely cool as well. The highlight had to be Ann Margaret rolling around in the baked beans - I heard she was nominated for an Oscar for this performance - bravo!

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1021648-tommy/

ATM: The Bee Movie

2007-11-05T10:56:00.001-07:00

I saw this at the drive-in with my daughter's girl scout troop. Seemed like a real good movie even though I missed 30 minutes or so.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/bee_movie/

ATM: The Grudge

2007-11-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

More creepy than scary but definately worth seeing:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/grudge/

ATM: Carnal Knowledge

2007-11-03T12:33:00.000-07:00

Outdated but still fun to watch Nicholson....Oh yeah and Ann Margaret naked is not a bad thing. Well maybe if she were to try it today but back then....wow!

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/carnal_knowledge/

ATM: The Good Shepherd

2007-10-27T12:46:00.001-07:00

Overly long and sort of boring story of the CIA origins: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/good_shepherd/

RIF: Survivor

2007-10-27T09:57:00.002-07:00

Not as good as FIGHT CLUB but better than any other bullship out there right now: http://trashotron.com/agony/reviews/palahniuk-survivor.htm

ATM: Hot Fuzz

2007-10-27T09:57:00.001-07:00

The funniest movie I've seen all year. These guys could remake SHINDLER'S LIST and get huge laughs: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/hot_fuzz/

ATM: Requiem For A Dream

2007-10-22T16:01:00.001-07:00

My second viewing. The first left my nautious. This is a must see movie especially for teens getting ready to deal with all the bullshit ou there: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/requiem_for_a_dream/

ATM: Little Children

2007-10-22T16:01:00.000-07:00

Amazing movie that shows that Bad News Bears baseball star, Kelly Leak life's hit it's share of bumps in the road. For real revieww, check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/little_children/

ATM: Zodiac

2007-10-22T15:59:00.000-07:00

Way too long movie about the Zodiac killer. Yeah - we kind of know who did it but he's dead. The movie was actually pretty good but a lot of fluff could have snuffed. For real reviews, check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/zodiac/

ATM: Lord of War

2007-10-22T15:57:00.000-07:00

This movie is trying real hard to be the gun dealer version of TRAFFIC. It kind of works except Cage's toupee is distracting. That whiny bitch from 30 SECONDS TO MARS is not a bad actor either but his performance is nowhere near what it was in REQUIEM FOR A DREAM. For real reviews, check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/lord_of_war/

ATM: Apocalypto

2007-10-17T12:15:00.000-07:00

If making great movies requires Mel Gibson to reveal his drunken true nature to the pubic, then I say free rounds on the house. This movie was great. For real reviews check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/apocalypto/

ATM: Vacancy

2007-10-09T12:14:00.001-07:00

One of the better scare-flicks I've seen in some time. Two problems: (1) Why the fuck is Luke Wilson doing an Owen Wilson impression the entire movie - that didn't get old? (2) Why didn't Wilson die? It would have been a deserved outcome for using impersonating his suicidal brother during the flick. Kudos to the director for surviving with a first name of NIMROD. For real reviews, check out:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/vacancy/

ATM: World Trade Center

2007-10-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

This sort of felt like an after school special to me and didn't stir emotions like FLIGHT 93 did. Cage was ok in this role but it didn't pack the punch I expected. For a real review, check out:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/world_trade_center/

ATM: The Black Dahlia

2007-10-08T12:10:00.001-07:00

Waste of time noir and triggered some of the best sleep I had all weekend. Hartnett is at the top of my list of actors whose movies I try to avoid. For a real review of this piece of garbage, check out:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/black_dahlia/

CD of the Month

2007-10-05T09:17:00.000-07:00

I have several emails about the past few months compilations. Last I heard Lisa and M's collections were nearing completion. I don't have the current calendar in front of me but I know that Jones has December and he says he's nearly done. Nothing like being pre-mature, eh Jones?

Go to http://www.polyestericonz.blogspot.com/ to check out the full schedule. It's been a crazy few months, but we'll get this thing back on track. I've been ripping all my CDs to MP3 so my next mix should be interesting.

If anyone has an update on their compilations, please let me know and I'll post it on the website this weekend.

ATM: Maria Full of Grace

2007-10-01T11:50:00.000-07:00

Being a drug mule would be tough to swallow (get it?). Great movie.

Check out the reviews at: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/maria_full_of_grace/

ATM: Jarhead

2007-10-01T11:35:00.000-07:00

Not since Apocolypse Now has a movie so perfectly captured the insanity of war. Not since Donny Darko played Cowboys in Wyoming has Gyllenhaal nailed a role. I was set to ignore this movie but I'm glad I didn't.

For some real reviews check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1152567-jarhead/

Osos Lose a Heartbreaker

2007-09-28T17:37:00.000-07:00

Looking to avenge a 19-1 loss earlier this season, LOS OSOS took the field to face COMMONWEALTH. The whole avenging the loss issue was dealt a harsh blow as COMMONWEALTH put up a snowman in the first frame. These guys could hit as the BEARS outfielders consistently played the warning track and that wasn't deep enough as at least 6-7 Kemp offerings left the yard. Our defense didn't help either, as errors were plentiful - outside of a few stellar plays by Jesse the sub at the hot corner. Our offense hit a whopping .360 for this game but we hit the ball hard all night. Case in point - late in the game, Short hits a rope down the first base line. There's absolutely no way the first baseman has a shot at this ball. The ball hits first base, shoots straight up in the air where the pitcher snags it and wins the race to the bag. That play perfectly summarizes our hitting last night. Final score in game one was 17-6 COMMONWEALTH. Ramsey led the way for the BEAR as he was a homerun away from the cycle. No other OSOS player finished with more than one hit.

Looking to avenge a 30-11 loss earlier this season, LOS OSOS waited patiently for HAZELWOODS to show up but these giant douchebags bailed, obviously intimidated by our effort in game one.

Morning Motivation: Bit Part

2007-09-25T08:45:00.001-07:00

My MP3 player was dishing out completely unmotivating songs this morning….or maybe it's the project I'm tackling but nothing was inspiring what-so-ever. Then I heard "Bit Part" by The Lemonheads. I like the song but not much as far as the kick in the ass I needed this morning. The next song was Ben Kweller covering, you guessed it, a Lemonheads song, "Drug Buddy". Then that hat trick, "It's About Time" by E. Dando and company played. I finally gave in , said fuck it, and chose this as my morning motivation:

I want a bit part in your life,
A walk-on would be fine.
I just want a bit part in your life,
(a bit part in your life).

I want a bit part in your life,
Rehearsing all the time.
I just want a bit part in your life,
(a bit part in your life).

Little more than a cameo
Nothing traumatic when I go
Litle more than a stand-in,
I wont need reprimanding.

ATM: Ocean's Twelve

2007-09-25T08:09:00.001-07:00

These movies are the Cannonball Run's of our era. Stupid and self-indulgent but semi-entertaining. Best enjoyed with massive quantities of your addiction of choice. For real reviews, check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/oceans_twelve/

GSOTD: Love Buzz

2007-09-24T12:24:00.001-07:00

By NIRVANA

Would you believe me when I tell you
You're the queen of my heart
Please don't deceive me when I hurt you
Just ""aint"" the way it seems

Can you feel my love buzz?
Can you feel my love buzz?
Can you feel my love buzz?
can you feel my love buzz?

Would you believe me when I do you
You're the queen of my heart
Please don't deceive me when I hurt you
Just ""aint"" the way it seems

Can you feel my love buzz?
Can you feel my love buzz?
Can you feel my love buzz?
can you feel my love buzz?

ATM: A Scanner Darkly

2007-09-23T15:48:00.001-07:00

This movie (on loan from the Library) sat idle on my shelf for the past month. I finally watched it last night and was floored. I kind of walked away with that same smirk I had when I saw HEAVY METAL for the first time. The artwork was a little distracting at first but soon I was drawn into this paranoid world.

For some real reviews, check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/scanner_darkly/

GSOTD: Blew

2007-09-23T07:51:00.000-07:00

By NIRVANA

If you wouldn't mind, I would like it blew
And If you wouldn't care, I would like it loose
And If you wouldn't mind, I would like to leave
And If you wouldn't care, I would like to breathe

Is there another reason for your stain?
Could you believe who we knew was stress and strain?
Here is another word that rhymes with shame!

If you wouldn't mind, I would like it blew
And If you wouldn't mind, I would like it loose
And If you wouldn't care, I would like to leave
And If you wouldn't mind, I would like to breathe

(x2)
Is there another reason for your stain?
Could you believe who we knew was stress and strain?
Here is another word that rhymes with shame!

(x8)
You could do anything

Top 500 Modern Rock Songs

2007-09-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

http://www.mininova.org/tor/901263

(Only) Halfway to Everywhere

2007-09-22T09:42:00.000-07:00

You could be so energy
Electricity
You could be lightening
You could be anything
A masterpiece
A revolutionary
You can see what you want to see
Can you let it be?
Learn or teach

I'm only halfway to everywhere

I'm thinking positivety
Positively
This is possible
They can say right or wrong
Never hear this song
Or look you in the eye
I'm getting rid of negativity
Lose the loss in me
Call it equality
Good luck is a frame of mind
Call it humankind
And say it's destiny

GSOTD: Asshole

2007-09-22T07:39:00.000-07:00

By NIRVANA

When I first wanted I never ever was... naw
When I first wanted I never ever thought twice

When I first wanted, When I first wanted...
When I first wanted, When I first wanted..
When I first wanted I never ever was.. naw
When I first wanted I never ever thought twice..

When I first wanted, When I first wanted..
When I first wanted, When I first wanted...

Weeee are runnin on down..
We're..Ohhh ahh ahh ahhh..
Here, here is where its running...
We're Ohh ah ah ahhh
YEAH!

When I first wanted I never ever was... naw
When I first wanted I never ever thought twice

When I first wanted, When I first wanted...
When I first wanted, When I first wanted..
When I first wanted I never ever was.. naw
When I first wanted I never ever thought twice..

When I first wanted, When I first wanted..
When I first wanted, When I first wanted...

Weeee are runnin on down..
We're..Ohhh ahh ahh ahhh..
Here, here is where its running...
We're Ohh ah ah ahhh
YEAH! YEAH!

ATM: Rocky Balboa

2007-09-21T13:29:00.001-07:00

I heard a ton of good things about this film so I was fully anticipating a disappointment. I didn't get one - this is a really good movie - one of the better boxing films out there (but not in the Raging Bull team photo). The only beef (get it Rocky likes to beat the meat) I had was - why the fuck did we wear the Chuck Taylor's after all these years? Those fucking shoes are shit for running. Also, it seemed that Rocky shared the same doctor as Rick Ankiel - a little HGH does the body good - pass it on!

For full reviews, check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/rocky_balboa/

My Parents

2007-09-21T13:08:00.001-07:00

It appears my Dad had my Mom's face surgically attached to Charo's body - just like in that shitty Travolta movie!

GSOTD: Polly

2007-09-21T10:40:00.000-07:00

By NIRVANA

Polly wants a cracker
I think I should get off her first
I think she wants some water
To put out the blow torch

It isn't me
Haven't seen
Let me clip
Your dirty wings
Let me take a ride
don't hurt yourself
I want some help
To please myself
I've got some rope
You have been told
I promise you
I have been true
Let me take a ride
Don't hurt yourself
I want some help
help myself

Polly wants a cracker
Maybe she would like some food
She asks me to untie her
A chase would be nice for a few

It isn't me
Haven't seen
Let me clip
Your dirty wings
Let me take a ride
Don't hurt yourself
I want some help
help myself
I've got some rope
You have been told
I promise you
I have been true
Let me take a ride
Don't hurt yourself
I want some help
beat myself

Polly said

Polly says her back hurts
And she's just as bored as me
She caught me off my guard
It amazes me, the will of instinct

It isn't me
have some seed
Let me clip
Your dirty wings
Let me take a ride
Don't hurt yourself
I want some help
beat myself
I've got some rope
You have been told
I promise you
I have been true
Let me take a ride
Don't hurt yourself
I want some help
beat myself

Morning Motivation: Bitches Ain't Shit

2007-09-21T10:25:00.000-07:00

No work today but I did have to drop my kids off at their various schools. Thank goodness this came on after my drop-offs were done. I can't here this song without my inner gansta comin' out. I felt like pimping my jeep but instead I went back to my crib to chill the fuck out and work on my house remodel. If you're not a fan of Ben Folds, you should be!!!

Bitches ain't shit, bitches ain't shit
Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
Lick on these nuts and suck the dick
Lets get the fuck out after you're done
And I hops in my ride to make a quick run...
I used to know a bitch named Eric Wright
We used to roll around and fuck the hoes at night
Tighter than a mutharfuckin' gangsta beats
And we was ballin' on the muthafuckin' Compton streets

Peep that shit, got deep and it was on
Number one song after number one song
Long as my muthafuckin' pockets was fat
I didn't give a fuck where the bitch was at
But she was hangin' with a white bitch doin' the shit she do
Suckin' on his dick just to get a buck or two
And the ends that she got meant nothin'
Now she's suing cuz the shit she be doin' ain't shit

Bitches can't hang with the streets
She found herself short
Now she's takin' me to court
That's some real conversation for your ass

I once had a bitch named Mandy May
Used to be up in them guts like everyday
The pussy was the bomb, had a nigga on sprung
I was in love like a muthafucka lickin' the protung
The homies used to tell me that she wasn't no good
But I'm the maniac in black, Mr. Snoop Eastwood
So I figure niggas wouldn't trip with mine
Guess what? Got gaffled by one time

I'm back in the muthafuckin' county jail
Six months on my chest, now it's time to bail
I get's released on a hot sunny day
My nigga D.O.C. and my homey Dr Dre
Scooped in a coupe, Snoop we got the news
Your girl was trickin' while you was draped in your county blues
I ain't been out a second
Now I already gotta do
Some muthafuckin chin checkin

Move up the block as we groove down the block
See my girl's house, Dre, pass the glock
Kick in the door, I look on the floor
It's my little cousin Daz and he's fuckin' my hoe
I uncocked my shit...
I'm heart-broke but I'm still locked
Man, fuck that bitch!
...3,...4,...

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
Lick on these nuts and suck the dick
Gets the fuck out after you're done
And I hops in my ride to make a quick run...
I used to know a bitch named Eric Wright
We used to roll around and fuck the hoes at night
Tighter than a mutharfuckin' gangsta beats
And we was ballin' on the muthafuckin' Compton streets

Peep that shit got deep and it was on
Number one song after number one song
Long as my muthafuckin' pockets was fat
I didn't give a fuck where the bitch was at
But she was hangin' with a white bitch doin' the shit she do
Suckin' on his dick just to get a buck or two
And the ends that she got meant nothin'
Now she's suing cuz the shit she be doin' ain't shit

Bitches can't hang with the streets
She found herself short
So now she's takin' me to court
That's some real conversation for your ass
Bitches can't hang with the streets
Bitches can't hang with the streets
Bitches can't hang with the streets
Bitches can't hang with the streets

GSOTD: Turnaround

2007-09-20T08:04:00.000-07:00

By NIRVANA

Take a step outside yourself
And turn around
Take a look at who you are
It's pretty scary

So silly
It is revolting
You're not much
If you are anything

Take a step outside the city
And turn around
Take a look at what you are
It is revolting
You're really nowhere

So wasteful
So foolish
Poppycock

Who said don't look back
Don't believe 'em
Go for that crazy sounding restaurant
'Cause they're gonna try and get behind you
Don't you let them do it
You know what i'm talking about?
You hear me talking?
You hear me talking?!

It's pretty scary, totally, it's so revolting (x3)

Take a step outside the country
And you turn around
Take a look at what you are
It's pretty scary

Morning Motivation: Talkin' Al Kida Blues

2007-09-20T07:42:00.001-07:00

Talkin' Al Kida Blues

It was a beautiful day in New York town
Folks jogging, biking, walking 'round
When a couple of airplanes came around
Hit the big towers, knocked 'em down
Worst disaster on US soil ever!
Course, there's the Indians, a few million slaves...Enron...Anyway, it was worse than Pearl Harbor!

President W. was flying around
Far away from New York town
When finally he came on TV,
He said Why do they hate us?
Cause we're free.
Free to round up dark-skinned bearded guys….Free to detain anyone who might have ties to Osama...Al Qaida...Somewhere in Cleveland there's some guy named Al Kida - K - I - D - A... He's freaking out!

Congress quickly rang the bell
And tried to fight those terrorist cells
With laws designed to never let
Our country fall to a terrorist threat
Anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone who might be a terrorist - is a terrorist!

There's terrorists using your email name
Sitting next to you at the ballgame
Terrorists hiding in your bed
Terrorists borrowing your head
Never seen so many terrorists….I had to turn in my own Mom….you know what they say...unpaid parking tickets aids terrorists

There's laws for this and laws for that
To keep those terrorists under wraps
Some folks disagree with these
And talk of civil liberties
But it's like the Attorney General says...If in times like these you can talk about individual freedom...you're probably a terrorist

If you're planning air travel soon
You might want to think about a weather balloon
Nothing gets past those X-Ray Peekers
And don't carry nothing in your sneakers
Sorry for all the delays...if you want to get there so dang fast you oughta take the train... "I have never been so insulted"... "Shut up, Dale."

Well India and Pakistan
Are thinking of trading nuclear bombs
Israel and the PLO -
Suicide's the way to go
Meanwhile the lessons of 9-1-1 are clear... Let's blow up the Middle East...Smoking marijuana aids terrorists...Cuba's our enemy unless we need a prison camp...John Walker Lindh could be your kid unless we get an economic stimulus package... And let's get that guy in Cleveland - AL KIDA!

http://danbern.redacorn.net/lyrics/alkidablues.html

ATM: Letters from Iwo Jima

2007-09-19T22:23:00.000-07:00

Even though this took me four days to get through (my fucking back medication, aka Soma, makes me is not condusive to 140 minute movies) - It was well worth it. I had to fly solo on this as my awesome wife can't cope with war flicks or subtitles (throw in a sports theme and she'd have the hat trick). Speaking of sports, my softball team split our doubeheader tonight. I played for shit but will post a full game wrap when time permits. Back to the movie, I loved seeing this film from the eyes of the doomed Japanese troops. Kind of makes you think - but I'm too fucking tired to think....or write any more. For a real review of this go to: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/letters_from_iwo_jima/

GSOTD: Milk It

2007-09-19T08:33:00.000-07:00

By NIRVANA

I am my own parasite
I don't need a host to live
We feed off of each other
We can share our endorphins

Doll steak!
Test meat!

Look on the bright side, suicide
Lost eyesight I'm on your side
Angel left wing, right wing, broken wing
Lack of iron and/or sleeping

I own my own pet virus
I get to pet and name her
Her milk is my shit
My shit is her milk

Test Me!
Doll steak!

Look on the bright side, suicide
Lost eyesight I'm on your side
Angel left wing, right wing, broken wing
Lack of iron and/or sleeping

Doll steak!
Test meat!

Look on the bright side, suicide
Lost eyesight I'm on your side
Angel left wing, right wing, broken wing
Lack of iron and/or sleeping

Protector of the kennel
Ecto-plasma, Ecto-skeletal
Obituary birthday
Your scent is still here in my place of recovery!

Morning Motivation: LIKE A BAD GIRL SHOULD

2007-09-19T08:12:00.001-07:00

Like most people, the morning commute can be a major bitch for me. Driving, while un-caffeinated is not only a pain in the ass....but dangerous. Fortunately, my handy-dandy MP3 player keeps me company. Each morning, I look for that one song that makes me smirk....or provides some glint of inspiration. Here's today's entry by The Cramps. I've been a huge Cramps fan since the early 80's but have only seen them once at the House of Blues in Chicago. This was an amazing and loud show where Lux ended the show as he came into this world (which I didn't need to see). Anyway, here you go:

I love your ass
For better or worse
I love your nasty way you curse
When you sit down
It's wild how you sit
Grind your heel in the ground
..The groovy way you spit

Ooohh you look good
Ooohh you smell good
Ooohh you taste good
Like a bad girl should

When I need love
I love how you feel
When I need dough,
I love how you steal
I love your sick
Way you think
The way your perfume
Makes you stink

Ooohh you look good
Ooohh you smell good
Ooohh you taste good
Like a bad girl should

I love your boots
Your fancy clothes
Your boufant hair
Your pantyhose
I blow a gasket
For your pink jellybean
Your pic-nic basket splits my spleen

Ooohh you look good
Ooohh you smell good
Ooohh you taste good
Like a bad girl should

MP3 SHUFFLE: Barely Legal

2007-09-18T13:32:00.001-07:00

This song keeps surfacing on my shuffle.....then it's stuck in my head all day.

By THE STROKES

I didn't take no shortcuts
I spent the money that I saved up
Oh Mama running out of luck
But like my sister just don't give a fuck
I want to steal your innocence
To me my life it don't make sense
Your strange manners, I love you so
Why won't you wear your new trench coat?

I should have worked much harder
I should have just not bothered
I never show up on weekdays
That's something that you learned yesterday
Drive you to work so you'll be on time
Your little problems, they're not yours they're mine
Come on listen to what I say
I've got some secrets that'll make you stay
I just want to turn you down
I just want to turn you around
You ain't never had anything I wanted but
I want it all, I just can't figure out
Nothing

And all together it went well
We made pretend we were best friends
And then she said "Oh you're a freak"
They ordered me to make mistakes
Together again, like the beginning
It all works somehow in the end
The things we did, the things you hide
But for the records it's all between you and I

I didn't take no shortcuts
I spent the money that I saved up
Oh Mama running out of luck
But like my sister just dont give a fuck
I want to steal your innocence
To me my life it don't make any sense
Your strange manners, I love you so
Why won't you wear your new trench coat?

I just want to misbehave
I just want to be your slave
You ain't never had anything I wanted but
I want it all, I just can't figure out
Nothing

And all together it went well
We made pretned we were best friends
And then she said "Oh I can't wait"
They ordered me to make mistakes
Together again, like the beginning
It all works somehow in the end
The things we did, the things you hide
But for the records it's all between you and I

http://www.lyricsmania.com

GSOTD: Mr. Moustache

2007-09-18T08:14:00.000-07:00

By NIRVANA

Fill me in on your new vision
Wake me up with indecision
Help me trust your mighty wisdom
Yes i eat cow - i am not proud

Show me how you question question
Lead the way to my temptation
Take my hand and give it cleaning
Yes i eat cow - i am not proud

Is he in his easychair?
Poop as hard as a rock
I don't like you anyway
Seal it in a box

All new
Damn you

Fill me in on your new vision
Wake me up with indecision
Help me trust your mighty wisdom
Yes i eat cow- i am not proud

Show me how you question question
Lead the way to my temptation
Take my hand and give it cleaning
Yes i eat cow - i am not proud

Is he in his easychair?
Poop as hard as a rock
I don't like you anyway
Seal it in a box

All new
Damn you (x3)

ATM: Smoking Aces

2007-09-17T22:48:00.000-07:00

Did anyone out there enjoy this film? I'm always up for a Tarantino impersonator....but please take something for the A.D.D. This movie was all over the place and after about 45 minutes, I didn't give a shit who was killed next - although kudos for putting Affleck out his misery so early on.

For a real review, go to: http://uk.rottentomatoes.com/m/smokin_aces/

MP3 SHUFFLE: Cruel to be Kind

2007-09-17T16:45:00.000-07:00

I remember hating this song when it came out. Today - the fucking thing appears on my MP3 player....and it wasn't as bad as I remembered.

GSOTD: Very Ape

2007-09-17T14:28:00.001-07:00

I'm buried up to my neck in
Contradictionary flies
I take prize as the king of illiterature
I'm very ape and very nice

If you ever need anything please don't
Hesitate to ask someone else first
I'm too busy acting like i'm not naive
I've seen it all i was here first

Out of ther ground
Into the sky
Out of the sky
Into the dirt

If you ever need anything please don't
Hesitate to ask someone else first
I'm to busy acting like i'm not naive
I've seen it all i was here first

Out of the ground
Into the sky
Out of the sky
Into the ground
Out of the groung
Into the sky
Out of the sky
Into the dirt

GSOTD: Aero Zeppelin

2007-09-16T10:01:00.000-07:00

By NIRVANA

What's the season of love if you can't win anything
What's the reason in love if a plan means anything
What's the meaning in a crime, it's a plan if anything
Where's the meaning in love, it's a brand, it's a brand
How a culture comes again, it's a plan of yesterday
And you swear it's not a trend, doesn't matter anyway
There's no need to talk to friends, nothing new is everyday
You could #### upon the stage, they'll be fans

They'll be fans
They'll be fans
They'll be fans

All the kids will eat it up, if it's packaged properly
Steal a sound and imitate, uniform and equally
Not an ode, just the facts, where our world is nowadays
An idea is what we lack, doesn't matter anyways

Hey

ATM: You, Me & Dupree

2007-09-16T09:31:00.000-07:00

I picked up this film, thinking it would be a trainwreck where I'd find laughs where they weren't intended. There were plenty of those (and my wife thankfully puts up with my laughing during these moments) but the movie wasn't that bad. Play close attention to Owen Wilson's stoned-appearance and tone in the extras. How the fuck can he see with his eyes squinting that much?

For real reviews, check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/you_me_and_dupree/

Paint An 8

2007-09-15T16:34:00.001-07:00

Seven less sorrows, seven more mistakes
Seven things to borrow, seven more to take
Seven times I've fallen, seven times I won
Six times I've wondered, where was one more

Why did I sleep so late
Lost my mind for seven days straight
If I go for seven more
Paint an eight on my door

Seven windows and seven doors
Seven sisters and seven boys
Seven poems, seven lines
Same old story same old crime
Why did I sleep so late
Lost my mind for seven days straight
If I go for seven more
Paint an eight on my door

Why did I sleep so late
Lost my mind for seven days straight
If I go for seven more
Paint an eight on my door

She Gave Good Sunflower

2007-09-15T16:32:00.000-07:00

I've been lost in the headlights
All night long
Said I've felt taller, yes I heard
the dealer's song

Say babe don't mark me absent
I only missed out by a fraction
Be the sun that bursts through my clouds
It's hard enough just living on this ground

Say don't pretend to me
I beg and I plead, your sunflower I need
Thought nothing would surprise me
I was wrong now I see
Come on baby and just do me
if you please

This made me reminiscing
About the honey we made
I feel warm in your blizzard
And your flood I crave
I won't abuse my anger
I promise you no lecture

Come be the sun bursting through my clouds
It's hard enough just living on the ground

Under A Mountain

2007-09-15T16:29:00.000-07:00

Never a heaven an age old question
Written from a cold place
I feel sour I need a shower
Or just a slap in the face
Circumstance has left romance
And a puzzle in front of me
Who knows the ending, if the truth need bending
A lie is the tool that you'll need

So I'm under a mountain
Stuck to this mattress
Perfume and valium

What makes a Sunday different from Monday
Could be a look in her eyes
In need of flattery she changes batteries
So that her light will still shine
The words she utters either flow or they stutter
They're either silly or wise
Anger with concern
But never to yearn
Only to be by your side

Lay down with number 13
Its a cold gray shame

GSOTD: Been a Son

2007-09-15T09:02:00.000-07:00

By NIRVANA

She should have stayed away from friends
She should have had more time to spend
She should have died when she was born
She should haveworn the crown of thorns

She should have been a son
She should have been a son
She should have been a son
She should have been a son

She should have stood out in a crowd
She should have made her mother proud
She should have fallen on her stance
She sould have had another chance

(x2)
She should have been a son
She should have been a son
She should have been a son
She should have been a son

She should have stayed away from friends
She should have had more time to spend
She should have died when she was born
She should have worn the crown of thorns

She should have been a son
She should have been a son
She should have been a son
She should have been a son

ATM: The Pursuit of Happyness

2007-09-14T23:35:00.000-07:00

This just goes to show you that a Fresh Prince who can solve a Rubik's Cube can overcome anything. I really didn't think I'd enjoy this but it wasn't nearly has sappy as the previews made it out to be - really a pretty good movie. Of course, the Soma prescribed for my ailing back may be altering my take on the whole shebang!

For a real review, check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/pursuit_of_happyness/

GSOTD: Sliver

2007-09-14T13:42:00.000-07:00

By NIRVANA

Mom and dad went to a show
They dropped me off at Grandpa Joe's
I kicked and screamed, said please, dont go

Grandma Take Me Home (x8)

Had to eat my dinner there
Mashed potatos and stuff like that
I couldn't chew my meat too good

Grandma Take Me Home (x8)

She said, why don't you stop your crying
Go outside and ride your bike
That´s what I did, I killed my toad

Grandma Take Me Home (x8)

After dinner, I had ice cream
I fell asleep and watched TV
I woke up in my mother's arms

Grandma Take Me Home(x19)

Wanna be alone

ATM: Unforgiven

2007-09-14T13:13:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Robyn Hitchcock's song "Gene Hackman" and the recent series conclusion of DEADWOOD, I picked up this flick. Amazing Western! I wish I hadn't waited so damn long to see this.

"Gene Hackman" by ROBYN HITCHCOCK

I'll have a warm bath
I'll have a bottle of wine
I'll put myself to bed
And I'll feel just fine
But don't talk to me about Gene Hackman

He's got an evil grin
He's got curly hair
And every time he smiles
It means trouble somewhere
So don't talk to me about Gene Hackman

He's in every film
Sometimes wearing a towel
And if it isn't him
You get Andie MacDowell
So don't talk to me about Gene Hackman

Don't talk to me at all
Don't say hello
You could be Gene himself for all I know

In Unforgiven
He was totally mean
But when he got his
I really felt for Gene
But don't talk to me about Gene Hackman

I'll have a cold shower
I'll have a bottle of pop
I'll get a dog named Laszlo
From a Laszlo shop
But don't talk to me about
G-E-N-E-H-A-C-K-M-A-N
Gene Hackman

I'll have a cold shower
I'll have a bottle of juice
And when I'll go outside
I'll have a good excuse

For a full review check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1041911-unforgiven/

GSOTD: Dumb

2007-09-13T08:47:00.001-07:00

By NIRVANA

I'm not like them
But I can pretend
The sun is gone
But I have a light
The day is done
But I'm having fun
I think I'm dumb
Or maybe just happy
Think I'm just happy
My heart is broke
But I have some glue
Help me inhale
And mend it with you
We'll float around
And hang out on clouds
Then we'll come down
And have a hangover
Have a hangover
Skin the sun
Fall asleep
Wish away
The soul is cheap
Lesson learned
Wish me luck
Soothe the burn
Wake me up
I'm not like them
But I can pretend
The sun is gone
But I have a light
The day is done
But I'm having fun
I think I'm dumb

ATM: American Beauty

2007-09-12T22:48:00.006-07:00

With all the movies out there to watch, sometimes you forget to give a movie that second viewing. I finally picked up AMERICAN BEAUTY again and remember how great of a fucking movie this is. This should be watched at least once a year to put all the other bullshit into perspective.

For full reviews of this classic go to: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/american_beauty/

GSOTD: Tourette's

2007-09-12T10:09:00.001-07:00

By NIRVANA

Mayday every day, in my heart.
Could've had a heart attack, in my heart.
We don't know anything, in my heart.
We all want something fair, in my heart.
Hey!
Hey!
Heyyyyyyy! [x3]

Out of town, out of sight, is my heart.
Queen of lies, everyday, in my heart.
My heart, one more on the phone, my heart.
One more at the phone, at my heart
Hey!
Hey!
Heyyyyyyyyyyy! [x2]

Mean heart, cold heart, cold heart, cold heart
Cold heart, cold heart, cold heart, cold heart!

Uhhhhhhh!

ATM: The World's Fastest Indian

2007-09-11T22:12:00.000-07:00

I don't remember this film ever coming to a theatre near me...but it should have. Hopkins is excellent in this role.

For a full review check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/worlds_fastest_indian/

GSOTD: Lithium

2007-09-11T22:09:00.000-07:00

By NIRVANA

I’m so happy ’cause today
I’ve found my friends ...
They’re in my head
I’m so ugly, but that’s okay, ’cause so are you ...
We’ve broken our mirrors
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care ...
And I’m not scared
Light my candles, in a daze
’cause I’ve found god
Yeah (x6)

I’m so lonely but that’s okay, I shaved my head ...
And I’m not sad
And just maybe I’m to blame for all I’ve heard ...
But I’m not sure
I’m so excited, I can’t wait to meet you there ...
But I don’t care
I’m so horny, but that’s okay ...
My will is good
Yeah(x6)

(x2)
I like it - I’m not gonna crack
I miss you - I’m not gonna crack
I love you - I’m not gonna crack
I killed you - I’m not gonna crack

I’m so happy ’cause today
I’ve found my friends ...
They’re in my head
I’m so ugly, but that’s okay, ’cause so are you ...
We’ve broken our mirrors
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care ...
And I’m not scared
Light my candles in a daze ...
’cause I’ve found god
Yeah, yeah, yeah(x2)

(x2)
I like it - I’m not gonna crack
I miss you - I’m not gonna crack
I love you - I’m not gonna crack
I killed you - I’m not gonna crack

GSOTD: Something in the Way

2007-09-10T12:20:00.000-07:00

By NIRVANA

Underneath the bridge
The tarp has sprung a leak
And the animals I've trapped
Have all become my pets
And I'm living off of grass
And the drippings from the ceiling
It's ok to eat fish
'Cause they don't have any feelings

Something in the way

GAOTW: Nirvana

2007-09-09T12:22:00.000-07:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nirvana_%28band%29

GSOTD: Devil Song

2007-09-08T13:38:00.000-07:00

By CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN

Hey, ya wanna start a fire?
One that will never go out?
Burn a hole through the center of my mind
Let all the bad thoughts out
This is not a love affair
This is something more complex
Hey, ya wanna start a war?
I'm tired of this old one
And history is true
And it goes round in circles
Burn down the house, there's a devil in the closet
And everything I say is true
And I go round in circles
I'll burn down the house, there's a devil in the closet
Hey, ya wanna start a fire?
One that will never go out?
Burn a hole through the center of my mind
Let all the bad thoughts out
This is not a love affair
This is something more complex
Hey, ya wanna start a war?
I'm tired of this old one

ATM: Lady in the Water

2007-09-07T21:39:00.000-07:00

M. Night Shyamalamalan's peyote influenced snooze fest tells the story of how Richie Cunningham's daughter is saved by Pig Vomit and his rag-tag collection of misfit tenants. On the positive side, it does have dogs made out of grass and monkeys made out of trees, so if you are really, really baked right now, watch this flick.

For full reviews, check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/lady_in_the_water/

GSOTD: Pictures of Matchstick Men

2007-09-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

By CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN

When I look up to the sky
I see your eyes
A funny kind of yellow
Rush home to bed
I soak my head
I see your face underneath my pillow
I wake next morning
I'm still yawning
I see your face looking through my window

Pictures of matchstick men and you
Images of matchstick men and you
Alls I ever see is them and you

Windows echo your reflection
When I look in their direction now
There your face is haunting me
Your face just won't leave me alone

Pictures of matchstick men and you
Images of matchstick men and you
Alls I ever see is them and you
You're in the sky
You're with the sky
You make men cry
You are, you're in the sky
You're with the sky
You make men cry

Pictures of matchstick men . . .

GSOTD: Axe Murderer

2007-09-06T11:03:00.000-07:00

By CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN

Why do lovers park down deserted lanes
Near haunted houses or homes for the insane
Like the deformed son who was locked in a shed
Later escaped when he chopped off their heads

Why do axe murderers only attack
When you're partially nude
Or you're taking a bath
Though there are times I feel softer then most
Some days like yogurt
And some days like toast

Sorority girls and fraternity boys
Always deflowered if they're rich or they're spoiled
So we never feel bad when Aunt Betty who's dead
Surprises them lying on her wedding bed When we're making love now I feel so exposed
Might you impale me or turn into those
Creatures over in my mind
Forget about the last five years

Back in the woods along a dirt track there is a house
An old women on the porch with three dogs
One of them blind
Who knows what will happen
Or what blind dogs see
And I wish there was some place
I really wanted to be
I'm crossing over

Miss September

2007-09-05T12:42:00.001-07:00

Jody "High Life" Miller is on the clock for the September Compilation. Her last effort included her own artwork - solid. After that, the remaining 2007 schedule is as follows:

October - CC
November - Bert
December - Jones

As for the missing months, I received word from Lincoln Avenue Lisa that her August mix is stellar and near completion. Sevchik's March Madness is suffering from a difficult case of the OCD while I haven't heard from Emmet and Love Pickle regarding their May and June mixes.

Study: Casual Sex Only Rewarding For First Few Decades

2007-09-05T12:28:00.000-07:00

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/66069

RIF: Dearly Devoted Dexter

2007-09-05T09:57:00.001-07:00

I enjoyed this more than the first. #3 should be waiting for me at the library. Now if Netflix can get their shit together and send me a playable DVD, I can continue with the Showtime series.

For a complete review of DEARLY DEVOTED DEXTER go to:
http://www.curledup.com/deardevd.htm

GSOTD: The Light from a Cake

2007-09-05T08:12:00.001-07:00

By CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN

I'm alternating between heavy and light
Between meaning and nonsense
And having a drink
I have counted all the lines on the road
Between here and Los Angeles
That pass straight below
And I'm dreaming of a light, and it comes from your head
'Cause you move just like you're a train
Not like a car, no, no, it would never be the same
And the light from your eyes is like the light from a cake
I was thinking of a cake
To lift off this burden
To lighten this weight
One sweet little cake
Dervishes run the head of a pin
We are sleeping like angels
And living like devils again
And I am waiting for the heaviness in the air to break
And reveal some small, irrelevant truth
'Cause we move like we are suspended in ether
And the light from your eyes spills from the moon

ATM: Along Came Polly

2007-09-04T22:37:00.000-07:00

Better than average chick-flick. There were a few scenes so funny that I damn near SHARTED myself.

For full reviews, check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/along_came_polly/

GSOTD: Love is a Weed

2007-09-04T09:13:00.000-07:00

By CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN

Love's a rose
and love is spring
Look what it's done for my heart

And love is peace
and harmony
Look what it's done for my heart

And love's a good thing, and I guess it's OK
Feeling holes in my heart
And love's a flower and love is spring
love's a weed growing in your heart

Love's a mirror
and love's a dream
Look what it's done for my heart

Love's a good thing
and love is all
Look what it's done for my heart

And love's a weakness in my knees
And dangerous upon the stairs
And love's a fondness in my heart
For loneliness and despair

And love's a weakness in my knees
And dangerous upon the stairs
And love's a fondness in my heart
For loneliness and despair

And love's a good thing, and I guess it's OK
Feeling holes in your heart
Love's a flower, and love is spring
Love's a weed growing in your heart

http://www.the-van.com/etc/index.php

ATM: My Super Ex-Girlfriend

2007-09-04T08:51:00.001-07:00

Super snooze-fest. The highlight for me, was the closing credits - very original. Check them out but skip this movie.

For a real review or two, check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/my_super_ex_girlfriend/

GSOTD: No More Bullshit

2007-09-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

By CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN

No more bullshit, no more MTV, no more rock starts, no more bullshit
Elvis Presley died and no-one knows why

GSOTD: Eye of Fatima

2007-09-02T09:24:00.000-07:00

By CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN

He's got the Eye of Fatima on the wall of his room.
Two bottles of tequila, three cats and a broom.
He's got an 18-year-old angel
and she's all dressed in black.
He's got 15 kilos of cocaine tied up in a sack.
And this here's a government experiment
and we're driving like Hell.
To get some cowboys some acid and to stay in motels.
We're going to eat up some wide open spaces
Like it was a cruise on the Nile.
Take the hands off the clock,
we're going to be here a while.

And I am the Eye of Fatima
on the wall of the motel room.
And cowboys on acid are like Egyptian cartoons.
And no one ever conquered Wyoming
from the left or from the right.
But you can stay in motel rooms and stay up all night.

GSOTD: Sad Lover's Waltz

2007-09-01T09:22:00.000-07:00

By CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN

One step for boys, one step for girls, step away
One step for you, one step for me, step away
Don't take the third step, 'cuz that's just the sad lovers' waltz
Don't take the third step, 'cuz that's just the sad lovers' waltz

One step for anger, one step for pain, step away
One step for right, one step for wrong, step away
Don't take the third step, 'cuz that's just a sad lover's waltz
Don't take the third step, 'cuz that's just a sad lover's waltz

One step for boys, one step for girls, step away
One step for you, one step for me, step away
One more step makes three, and three steps a waltz
Don't take the third step, cuz that's just a sad lover's waltz

Dumb JOTD: Bra & Hat

2007-08-31T10:00:00.000-07:00

What did the bra say to the hat?

"You go on ahead, while I give these two a lift."

GSOTD: Turquoise Jewelry

2007-08-31T09:49:00.000-07:00

By CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN

Come down from your tree house condominium
And start driving around that station wagon
with the wood on the side
Take off that jumpsuit, you look like Grace Slick
Stayin' up all night & drinkin' that 7-11 coffee
And take off your turquoise jewelry
Shake your medicine rattle
And fill a sock with an herb
Put on your fringe skirt
Come sit down next to your man, he's hankering for some company
Come sit down next to your man and let him cough in your ear
'Cuz you bring me sticks and stones
You bring me everything
Take off your turquoise jewelry
Shake your medicine rattle
'Cuz you bring me sticks and stones
You bring me everything

GSOTD: Good Guys & Bad Guys

2007-08-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

By CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN

Well there are good guys and there are bad guys
And there are crooks and criminals
There are doctors and there are lawyers
And there are folks like you and me

So let's get high while the radio's on
Just relax and sing a song
Drive your car up on the lawn
Let me play your guitar

Well, this here verse is for the people in Russia
Though it is a long long ways away
They couldn't hear this song in Russia
But couldn't understand the words anyway

So let's get high while the radio's on
Just relax and sing a song
Drive your car up on the lawn
Let me play your guitar

So just be glad you live in America
Just relax and be yourself
Cuz if you didn't live here in America
You'd probably live somewhere else

So let's get high while the radio's on
Just relax and sing a song
Drive your car up on the lawn
Let me play your guitar

JOTD: While the Cat's Away

2007-08-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend.

They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:

"Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful.... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

ATM: Hard Candy

2007-08-29T23:30:00.001-07:00

This movie basically has a cast of two - and it works real well. Great movie about a tough subject. Would make a great play.

For full reviews, check out: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/hard_candy/

JOTD: Fall-Down Drunk

2007-08-29T08:16:00.000-07:00

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.

"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

GSOTD: Jack Ruby

2007-08-29T07:58:00.000-07:00

By CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN

I remember his hat tilted forward
His glasses are folded in his vest
And he seems like the kind of man who beats his horses
Or the dancers who work at a bar
We saw on the screen his face for a moment
No time to plead or even ask why
Jack Ruby appeared from out of nowhere
Then disappeared in broad daylight
'Cause he's a friend of that cloven-hoofed gangster the devil
He's been seen with the sheriff and the police
Drinking whiskey and water after hours, saying
"Let's do business, boys. The drinks are on me."
So draw the box along quickly
Avert your eyes with shame
Let us stand and speak of the weather
And pretend nothing ever happened on that day
Grant us the luxury, 'cause all our heroes are bastards
Grant us the luxury, 'cause all our heroes are thieves
Of the innocence of the afternoons
Now we think it's a virtue to simply survive
But it feels like this calm it's decaying
It's collapsing under its own weight
And I think its your friend the hangman coming
Choking back a laugh, a drunkard swaggering to your door
Now do you feel that cold, icy presence?
In the morning with coffee and with bread
Do you feel it in the movement of traffic
And days are terrible, simply forget