Song of the Day: Stay or Leave

"Stay or Leave" by DAVE MATTHEWS BAND

Maybe different, but remember
Winters warm there you and I,
Kissing whiskey by the fire
With the snow outside
And the summer comes
The river swims at midnight
Shiver cold
Touch the bottom, you and I
With muddy toes

Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you should
It was good, as good goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you did

Wake up naked drinking coffee,
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing us...
It was good good love.
You used to laugh under the covers
Maybe not so often now
But the way I used to laugh with you
Was loud and hard

Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you should
It was good as good goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you did

So what to do
With the rest of today's afternoon, hey
Isn't it strange how we change
Everything we did
Did I do all that i should

That I could'a done

Remember we used to dance
And everyone wanted to be
You and me
I want to be too
What day is this
Besides the day you left me?
What day is this
Besides the day you went?

So what to do
With the rest of the day's afternoon, hey
Well isn't it strange how we change
Everything we did
Did I do all that I could

Remember we used to dance
And everyone wanted to be you and me
I want to be too
What day is this
Besides the day you went babe
What day is this

GSOTD: Have You Seen Jackie?

"Have You Seen Jackie?" by XTC

Have you seen Jackie?
He's a strange strange strange little girl
Make up on his face and his hair in curls
Have you seen Jackie?
She's a strange strange strange little boy
Her long black beard is her pride and joy

And all the children follow him around
And all the grownups try to drag her down
So we sing
Hey, leave Jackie alone
Hey, his pigeons have flown
Hey, she's never at home at all these days
Leave Jackie alone

Have you seen Jackie?
He's an odd odd odd little fish
To fly around is his only wish
Have you seen Jackie?
She's a queer queer queer little bird
Shy and quiet neither scene nor herd

And all the rats will follow him around
The dogs and cats will chase her from the town
And we sing
Hey, leave Jackie alone
Hey, his mind is all blown
Hey, she's not on the phone at all these days
Leave Jackie alone
Jackie couldn't decide if he was a girl
Or if she was a boy
Have you seen Jackie?

MOSS'S POEM TO JUNKIE LOVER

KATE MOSS has written a poem about her doomed relationship with PETE DOHERTY in which she blasts him for loving drugs more than her. The handwritten poem was discovered in one of Doherty's journals - which he is using to write his autobiography - and has been published by a poetry magazine. Underneath a confession from Doherty about his drug use, she wrote, "You love them more than you love me. "So that's why I could cry all day long, that's why I can't breathe." The journal, much of which was written in late 2005/early 2006, also reveals Doherty proposed to Moss and offered to quit drugs for her if she accepted. The poem has been published in magazine Full Moon Empty Sports Bag, which is edited by PAUL ROUNDHILL, a friend of Doherty's who was arrested following the cocaine expose involving Moss last year (05). Roundhill says, "Pete gave me it to use in the magazine. Some of it is his writing and some of it is Kate's. "It looks as if the drugs were too much. She's been giving him quite a hard time about it, trying to sort him out. She even paid for his last round of drug implants. "It's Kate's debut as a writer. It's very interesting and she is a very interesting girl. "With her singing and writing I think she's looking for a future role, something more interesting than modelling."

30/06/2006 12:57

DOHERTY WINNING BATTLE WITH DRUGS

PETE DOHERTY is winning his battle with drugs so he can reunite with ex-lover KATE MOSS. But the singer's hopes rest on a knife edge after vital anti-addiction implants were seized by suspicious customs officers. Doherty's friend and literary agent PAUL ROUNDHILL says, "He is clean at the moment. It must be very hard for him. But he's done it for Kate. He wants to stay clean to get back with her. "He's having more implants put in because the last ones went terribly wrong. They went septic which is a very dangerous situation. "He was meant to get them a few days ago but customs saw the package with his name on it and thought they might be drugs being sent to them so broke the package open and sterilised it."

30/06/2006 12:57

JOTD: Elephantitis

Q: What do you do with an elephant with three balls?

A: You walk him to get to the rhino!!!

GSOTD: Making Plans For Nigel

"Making Plans for Nigel" by XTC

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs this helping hand
And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work
We're only making plans for Nigel
He has his future in a British steel
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel's whole future is as good as sealed
And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work
Nigel is not outspoken
But he likes to speak
And loves to be spoken to
Nigel is happy in his work
We're only making plans for Nigel

JOTD: Best Goldfish Joke Ever!

Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to the other and says, "You man the guns, I'll drive."

GSOTD: Living Through Another Cuba

"Living Through Another Cuba" by XTC

Living through another Cuba
it's 1961 again and we are piggy in the middle
while war is polishing his drum and peace plays second fiddle

Russia and America are at each other's throats
but don't you cry
just on your knees and pray, and while you're
down there, kiss your arse goodbye

We're the bulldog on the fence
while others play their tennis overhead
it's hardly love all and somebody might
wind up red or dead
pour some oil on the water quick
it doesn't really matter where from
he love me, he loves me not
he's pulling fins from an atom bomb

This phenomenon happens every 20 years or so
if they're not careful your watch won't be the
only thing with a radioactive glow
I'll stick my fingers in my ears
and hope they make it up before too late
if we get through this lot alright
they're due for replay, 1998

GSOTD: Grass

"Grass" by XTC

Laying on the grass my heart it flares like fire
The way you slap my face just fills me with desire
You play hard to get
'Cause you're teacher's pet
But when the boats have gone
We'll take a tumble excuse for a fumble
Shocked me too the things we used to do on grass
If you fancy we can buy an ice-cream cone
Your mate has gone She didn't want to be alone
I will pounce on you
Just us and the Cuckoos
You are helpless now
Over and over we flatten the clover
Shocked me too the things we used to do on grass
It would shock you too the things we used to do on grass
Grass, grass.
Things we did on grass

JOTD: Clinton, Bush, and Washington...

Bill Clinton, George Bush and George Washington were on the Titanic.

As the boat was sinking, George Washington heroically shouts, ''Save the women!''

George Bush hysterically screeches, ''Screw the women!''

And Bill Clinton's eyes light up and he says, ''Do we have time?''

Iconz July Compilation

All apologies to Adam ‘Hannah’ Barbera and his Milli Vanilli collection, the July 2006 CD is due from your favorite slacker and mine: Terry ‘Da Fish’ Tomsha. Da Fish is fast becoming one of the premier designers of hand-crafted furniture in the Denver Metropolitan area. Hopefully, he comes thru with a killer collection. I also heard from Emmet who will be finishing up the May CD soon. Here’s the remaining schedule thru January:

Jul 06 - Fish-A-Palooza
Aug 06 - Hanna Barbera
Sep 06 - High Life
Oct 06 - Guntarski
Nov 06 - Jones
Dec 06 - Emmet
Jan 07 - Love Pickle

Moss wants to get chilly with Monkey

Supermodel KATE MOSS is reportedly pursuing ARCTIC MONKEYS frontman ALEX TURNER for a date. The English beauty, 32, has already been romantically linked to on/off lover PETE DOHERTY, comedian RUSSELL BRAND, model JAMIE BURKE and DIRTY PRETTY THINGS rocker ANTHONY ROSSOMANDO this year (06). According to British newspaper The Sun, Moss visited the Monkeys in their dressing room following a gig and asked Turner, 20, for his phone number. A source says, "Alex was amazed when Kate came backstage and said she loved the band. "He was at home in Sheffield (northern England) when the phone rang and this girl said, 'Hi, it's Kate.' When he asked, 'Kate who?,' he freaked out when she said it was Kate Moss. "She asked him if he wanted to meet up and he mumbled something about being busy with the band and he'd had to see." However, after boasting to his school teacher mother PENNY, Turner was advised to stay away from Moss following her cocaine scandal last year (05) and colourful relationship history.

28/06/2006 07:57

Daily Fun Word: Kegger

You’re a smelly pirate hooker!

I’m using yesterday’s suggestion from Maritza since she is such a great reader and a hot sexy Cuban.

Kegger: 1 (N) Party where a keg of beer is present. 2 (V) (Keg - Her) - slang term for getting a girl drunk that you know is promiscuous while inebriated.

Friend 1:“Man look at the hot chick over there. I hear she is an easy fuck if you get her drunk.”

Friend 2:” Hell yeah, I’d kegger”

http://dailyfunword.blogspot.com/

GSOTD: Respectable Street

"Respectable Street" by XTC

It's in the order of their hedgerows
it's in the way their curtains open and close
it's in the look they give you down their nose
all part of decency's jigsaw I suppose

Heard the neighbour slam his car door
don't he realise this is respectable street
What d'you think he bought that car for
'cos he realise this is respectable street

Now they talk about abortion
in cosmopolitan proportions to their daughters
as they speak of contraception
And immaculate receptions on their portable
Sony entertainment centres.

Now she speaks about diseases
and which sex position pleases best her old man
Avon lady fills the creases
when she manages to squeeze in past the caravans
that never move from their front gardens.

It's in the order of their hedgerows
it's in the way their curtains open and close
it's in the look they give you down their nose
all part of decency's jigsaw I suppose
Sunday church and they look fetching
Saturday night saw him retching over our fence
bang the wall for me to turn down
I can see them with their stern frown
as they dispense the kind of look that says
they're perfect.

JOTD: Not Going To Try This Again

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the WalMart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

GSOTD: Generals & Majors

"Generals and Majors" by XTC

Generals and Majors ah ah
they're never too far
from battlefields so glorious
out in a world of their own
They'll never come down
till once again victorious

Generals and Majors always
seem so unhappy 'less they got a war

Generals and Majors ah ah
like never before are tired of being actionless.

Calling Generals and Majors
Generals and Majors everywhere
Calling Generals and Majors
your World War III is drawing near

Generals and Majors ah ah
They're never too far
away from men who made the grade
out in a world of their own
They'll never come down
until the battle's lost or made

Generals and Majors ah ah
like never before, are tired of being in the shade

Fuck the Back Row

Cheap seat. You are going to love Amanda Palmer of the Dresden Dolls, the host of tonight’s Fuck the Back Row! “Celluloid vaudeville” concert. I’ve been listening to their album for weeks now. The festival is a night of short films selected from submissions by their fans… and you can bet the films range from “high art, humor, and sexiness to downright weirdness.” Performance artists, entertainment and Palmer herself singing songs from films. I sure hope she does a Disney song. $10, 9 p.m. Brattle Theater, 40 Brattle St., Harvard Square, Cambridge. Info: 617.876.6837 or brattlefilm.org

Berzerker Dan's Covers O' Death

The Berzerker has risen from the ashes to create an all new mega-stupendous Collection of cover songs. This collection is so rare, you can't even find it on K-Tel. The only place to get this is at PolyesterIconz.Blogspot.com. Nicely done, Berzerker!

I believe, Adam Barbera and his kick-ass collection of classic rock is next on the clock!

JOTD: Blonde on the Run

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide out in. The police are close on their tails, so when the women find three sacks, they immediately jump into them. About a minute later, a policeman comes into the barn and sees the suspicious-looking sacks. He kicks the first one.

"Meow," says the redhead.

"It must be a cat," thinks the policeman and he kicks the second sack.

"Woof," says the brunette.

"Must be a dog," thinks the policeman and he kicks the third sack.

"Potatoes," says the blonde.

GSOTD: Dear God

"Dear God" by XTC

Dear God,
Hope you got the letter,
And I pray you can make it better down here.
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer,
But all the people that you made in your image,
See them starving on their feet,
'Cause they don't get enough to eat

From God,
I can't believe in you.

Dear God,
sorry to disturb you,
but I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears,
And all the people that you made in your image,
See them fighting in the street,
'Cause they can't make opinions meet,
About God,
I can't believe in you.

Did you make disease, and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the devil too!

Dear God,
Don't know if you noticed,
But your name is on a lot of quotes in this book.
Us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look,
And all the people that you made in your image,
Still believing that junk is true.
Well I know it ain't and so do you,
Dear God,
I can't believe in,
I don't believe in,

I won't believe in heaven and hell.
No saints, no sinners,
No Devil as well.
No pearly gates, no thorny crown.
You're always letting us humans down.
The wars you bring, the babes you drown.
Those lost at sea and never found,
And it's the same the whole world 'round.
The hurt I see helps to compound,
that the Father, Son and Holy Ghost,
Is just somebody's unholy hoax,
And if you're up there you'll perceive,
That my heart's here upon my sleeve.
If there's one thing I don't believe in...

It's you,
Dear God.

Over the Hedge

We just saw this movie tonight. Really good kids movie with a rockin' soundtrack courtesy of Ben Folds. Check it out.

BY ROGER EBERT / May 19, 2006

Cast & Credits
Featuring the voices of:
RJ the raccoon: Bruce Willis
Verne the turtle: Garry Shandling
Hammy the squirrel: Steve Carell
Stella the skunk: Wanda Sykes
Ozzie the possum: William Shatner
Lou the porcupine: Eugene Levy
Vincent the bear: Nick Nolte
Dwayne the Verminator: Thomas Haden Church
Gladys: Allison Janney
Tiger the cat: Omid Djalili
Heather: Avril Lavigne
Penny the porcupine: Catherine O'Hara

DreamWorks Animation presents a film directed by Tim Johnson and Karey Kirkpatrick. Written by Len Blum, Lorne Cameron, David Hoselton and Karey Kirkpatrick. Running time: 87 minutes. Rated PG (for some rude humor and mild comic action).

"Over the Hedge" is one of the few comic strips in which you will find debates about the Theory of Relativity, population control and global warming. None of those issues are much discussed in the new animated feature inspired by the strip, but there is a great deal about suburban sprawl, junk food and the popularity of the SUV ("How many people does it hold?" "Usually one.")

The movie opens with the coming of spring and the emergence from hibernation of many forest animals, including some that do not actually hibernate, but never mind. Vincent the bear (voice by Nick Nolte) awakens to find that his entire stash of stolen food has been -- stolen! He apprehends the master thief RJ the raccoon (Bruce Willis) and gives him a deadline to return the food, or else. RJ cleverly mobilizes the entire population of the forest to help him in this task (during which he does not quite explain the bear and the deadline). And together they confront an amazing development: During the winter, half of their forest has been replaced by a suburb, and they are separated from it by a gigantic hedge.

That's the setup for a feature cartoon that is not at the level of "Finding Nemo" or "Shrek," but is a lot of fun, awfully nice to look at, and filled with energy and smiles. It's not a movie adults would probably want to attend on their own, but those taking the kids are likely to be amused, and the kids, I think, will like it just fine.

Once again we get an animal population where all the species work together instead of eating each other, and there is even the possibility of interspecies sex, when a human's house cat falls in love with Stella the skunk (Wanda Sykes). There is also the usual speciesism; mammals and reptiles are first-class citizens, but when a dragonfly gets fried by an insect zapper, not a tear is shed.

These animals once ate leaves and roots and things, but all that has changed since Hammy the squirrel (Steve Carell) discovered nacho chips. The animals find these so delicious, they are the forest equivalent of manna, and RJ, who usurps leadership of the bunch from Verne the turtle (Garry Shandling), is happy to lead them to the promised land of nachos and other junk foods, in the garbage cans and kitchens of humans.

Like all humans who like to live with a view of beautiful forests, the humans in "Over the Hedge" are personally offended that they are occupied by animals. Gladys (Allison Janney), the head of the homeowners' association, is personally affronted that RJ and his cronies might violate her garbage can, and brings in Dwayne (Thomas Haden Church), a pest control expert known ominously as The Verminator. "I want them exterminated as inhumanely as possible," she tells him. She's all heart.

The encroachment of the forest animals and the efforts of the Verminator in "Over the Hedge" don't approach the wit and genius of a similar situation in the Academy Award-winning "Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit" (2005), but then how could they? This movie is pitched at a different level. But the action scenes are fun, the characters are well-drawn and voiced, and I thought the film's visual look was sort of lovely. If the animals lack the lofty thinking of their originals on the comics page, they are nevertheless a notch or two above the I.Q. levels of many an animated creature.

They have to be. It's a hard life for a forager these days, when you're caught between an angry bear on one side of the hedge and a street hockey game on the other.

GSOTD: The Mayor of Simpleton

"The Mayor of Simpleton" by XTC

Never been near a university,
Never took a paper or a learned degree,
And some of your friends think that's stupid of me,
But it's nothing that I care about.

Well I don't know how to tell the weight of the sun,
And of mathematics well I want none,
And I may be the Mayor of Simpleton,
But I know one thing,
And that's I love you.
When their logic grows cold and all thinking gets done,
You'll be warm in the arms of the Mayor of Simpleton.

I can't have been there when brains were handed round
(please be upstanding for the Mayor of Simpleton),
Or get past the cover of your books profound,
(please be upstanding for the Mayor of Simpleton),
And some of your friends thinks it's really unsound,
That you're ever seen talking to me.

Well I don't know how to write a big hit song,
And all crossword puzzles well I just shun,
And I may be the Mayor of Simpleton,
But I know one thing,
And that's I love you.

I'm not proud of the fact that I never learned much,
Just feel I should say,
what you get is all real,
I can't put on an act,
It takes brains to do that anyway. (And anyway...)

And I can't unravel riddles, problems and puns,
How the home computer has me on the run,
And I may be the Mayor of Simpleton,
But I know one thing,
And that's I love you (I love you).

If depth of feeling is a currency,
(please be upstanding for the Mayor of Simpleton),
Then I'm the man who grew the money tree,
(no Chain of Office and no hope of getting one).
Some of your friends are too brainy to see,
That they're paupers and that's how they'll stay.

Well I don't know how many pounds make up a ton,
Of all the Nobel prizes that I've never won,
And I may be the Mayor of Simpleton,
But I know one thing,
And that's I love you.

When all logic grows cold and all thinking gets done,
You'll be warm in the arms of the Mayor of Simpleton.
You'll be warm in the arms of the Mayor of Simpleton.
You'll be warm in the arms of the Mayor.
(Please be upstanding for the Mayor of Simpleton.)

JOTD: Sleeping Squirrel

Why did the squirrel sleep on his stomach?

To keep his nuts warm!

Swimming Pool

I really liked this movie and it wasn't just because of the surplus of sex and nudity. The film drew me in. I had to find out what was happening with the characters and the rational behind their actions. Check this one out.

------------------------------------------------------------

BY ROGER EBERT / July 2, 2003

Cast & Credits
Sarah Morton: Charlotte Rampling
Julie: Ludivine Sagnier
John Bosload: Charles Dance

Focus Features Presents A Film Directed By Francois Ozon. Written By Ozon And Emmanuele Bernheim. In French With English Subtitles. Running Time: 102 Minutes. Rated R (For Strong Sexual Content, Nudity, Language, Some Violence And Drug Use).

'She threw me a look I caught in my hip pocket," Robert Mitchum's private eye says of Charlotte Rampling's femme fatale in "Farewell, My Lovely" (1975). You don't know what that means, but you know exactly what it means. Rampling has always had the aura of a woman who knows things you would like to do that you haven't even thought of. She played boldly sexual roles early in her career, as in "The Night Porter" (1974), and now, in "Swimming Pool," a sensuous and deceptive new thriller, she becomes fascinated by a young female predator.

Rampling plays Sarah Morton, a British crime writer whose novels seem to exist somewhere between those of P.D. James and Ruth Rendell. Now she is tired and uncertain, and her publisher offers her a holiday in his French villa. She goes gratefully to the house, shops in the nearby village, finds she can write again. She is alone, except for a taciturn caretaker, who goes into the village at night to live with his daughter, a dwarf who seems older than he is.

Then an unexpected visitor turns up: Julie (Ludivine Sagnier), the daughter her publisher didn't think to tell her about. Sarah is annoyed. Her privacy has been violated. Her privacy, and her sense of decorum. Julie is gravid with self-confidence in her emerging sexuality, appears topless at the villa's swimming pool, brings home men to sleep with--men who have nothing in common, except Julie's willingness to accommodate them. Sarah is surprised, intrigued, disapproving, curious. She looks down from high windows, spying on the girl who seems so indifferent to her opinion. Eventually she even steals glimpses of the girl's diary.

There is a waiter in the town, named Franck (Jean-Marie Lamour), who Sarah has chatted with, and who is perhaps not unaware of her enduring sexuality. But he becomes one of Julie's conquests, too--maybe because Julie's senses the older woman's interest in him.

At this point the film takes a turn toward violence, guilt, panic, deception and concealment, and I will not take the turn with it, because a film like this must be allowed to have its way with you. Let us say that Francois Ozon, the director and co-writer (with Emmanuele Bernheim), understands as Hitchcock did the small steps by which a wrong decision grows in its wrongness into a terrifying paranoid nightmare. And how there is nothing more disturbing than trying to conceal a crime that cries out to be revealed.

There is one moment late in the film that displays Rampling's cool audacity more than any other. The caretaker is about to investigate something that is best not investigated. What she does to startle and distract him I will not hint, but what a startling moment, and what boldness from Rampling! Ozon is a director who specializes in films where the absent is more disturbing than the present. Rampling starred in his "Under the Sand" (2000), a film about a husband who apparently drowns and a wife who simply refuses to accept that possibility. He also made the terrifying 57-minute film "See the Sea" (1997), in which the mother of an infant befriends a young woman hitchhiker and begins to feel that it was a dangerous mistake.

"Swimming Pool" is more of a conventional thriller than those two--or if it is unconventional, that is a development that doesn't affect the telling of most of the story. After it is over, you will want to go back and think things through again, and I can help you by suggesting there is one, and only one, interpretation that resolves all of the difficulties, but if I told you, you would have to kill me.

GSOTD: All You Pretty Girls

"All You Pretty Girls" by XTC

Do something for me, boys
If I should die at sea, boys
Write a little note, boys
Set it off afloat, saying

Bless you, bless you, all of you pretty girls
Village and city girls by the quayside
Bless you, bless you, all of you pretty girls
Watching and waiting by the sea

Bless you, bless you, all of you pretty girls
Quiet or witty girls by the quayside
Bless you, bless you, all of you pretty girls
Watching and waiting by the sea

I think about your pale arms waving
When I see the caps upon the green
And the rocking roller-coaster ocean
Think about you every night when I'm fathoms asleep
And in my dreams
We are rocking in a similar motion

I think about the salt sea rolling
Down in pearly tears upon your cheeks
Just like the day the harbour pulled away
I think about your warm white sheets unfolding
The more I have to drink
The more that I can think to say

SYV: Dear God

Click on the title to view "Dear God" by XTC

XTC Cover Art

GAOTW: XTC

XTC was one of the smartest -- and catchiest -- British pop bands to emerge from the punk and new wave explosion of the late '70s. From the tense, jerky riffs of their early singles to the lushly arranged, meticulous pop of their later albums, XTC's music has always been driven by the hook-laden songwriting of guitarist Andy Partridge and bassist Colin Moulding. While popular success has eluded them in both Britain and America, the group has developed a devoted cult following in both countries that remains loyal over two decades after their first records.

Partridge, Moulding, and drummer Terry Chambers formed the first version of the band around 1976, calling themselves Star Park. As punk rock took off in 1977, the group changed their name to Helium Kidz and added keyboardist Barry Andrews. After being turned down by CBS Records, the band changed their name to XTC and secured a record contract with Virgin; they released their first EP, 3-D, in October of 1977. White Music, the band's first full-length album, was recorded in a week and released by the end of the year. Critics praised the angular yet melodic pop, and the album reached number 38 in the U.K. charts. However, none of the singles released from the album charted (including "This Is Pop"), nor did "Are You Receiving Me?," the teaser single for their second album, Go 2 (1978).

After returning from a brief U.S. tour, Andrews quit the band; he would eventually form the League of Gentlemen with Robert Fripp, as well as pursue a solo career. Guitarist David Gregory was added to the lineup after Andrews' departure and the group recorded their first charting single, "Life Begins at the Hop." XTC released their third album, the calmer, more pop-oriented Drums and Wires, that summer; the record climbed to number 37 on the charts, thanks to the hit single "Making Plans for Nigel." While Drums and Wires began to climb the U.S. charts, Partridge released his first solo album early in 1980; outside of the band's devoted fans, the record appeared without much fanfare.

XTC continued to smooth out their edges on 1980's Black Sea, bringing in elements of mid-'60s Beatles and Kinks to their guitar-driven pop; thanks to the singles "Generals and Majors" and "Towers of London," it was the group's most successful American album, peaking at number 41 while reaching number 16 on the British charts. Released the following year, English Settlement featured more complex arrangements, as well as more intellectual lyrics, particularly from Andy Partridge. Nevertheless, the album was XTC's biggest success in the U.K., reaching number five on the album charts and launching the Top Ten single, "Senses Working Overtime."

While on tour in March of 1982, Partridge collapsed while on-stage, suffering from exhaustion. Less than a month later, he collapsed again with a stomach ulcer. The band canceled the tour shortly after his second collapse, prompting Chambers to leave the group. In November, Partridge announced that XTC would never play live again, concentrating on recording instead; he also blamed his collapses on intense stage fright. As the band completed their new album, a compilation called Waxworks --Some Singles (1977-1982) was released at the end of the year.

Mummer, the first album the studio-bound XTC recorded, appeared in the summer of 1983; former Glitter Band member Pete Phipps recorded the drum tracks for the record. XTC refused to tour for the record, which caused some tension between the band and Virgin, and was presumably the reason why "Love on a Farmboy's Wages" didn't make it past number 50 on the charts. Recording under the name the Three Wise Men, the group released the holiday single "Thanks for Christmas" at the end of the year.

Released in the fall of 1984, The Big Express essentially followed the same pattern as Mummer, yet it charted higher in the U.K. XTC released a psychedelic parody album, 25 O'Clock, under the name the Dukes of Stratosphear in 1985. After a difficult recording session with producer Todd Rundgren, the pastoral Skylarking appeared in the fall of 1986. Upon its release the album was hailed as a masterwork by critics, even though the band were claiming they were unsatisfied with the production. Skylarking was a bigger hit in the U.S. than it was in the U.K., spending over six months on the charts and peaking at number 70.

XTC recorded another Dukes of Stratosphear album, Psonic Psunspot, in 1987; the two Stratosphear albums were collected on one disc the following year. Oranges and Lemons (1989) reworked the psychedelia of the Stratosphear side-project, leaving out much of the loopy humor and replacing it with a Ray Davies-inspired nostalgia. The album was a minor hit in both Britain and America, reaching number 28 and number 44, respectively; "Mayor of Simpleton" became XTC's only charting U.S. single, reaching number 72 while peaking at number 46 on the British charts. Three years later, the group released Nonsuch, an album that recalled both Pet Sounds and Revolver. Like every XTC record, its critical acclaim was greater than its sales -- the album dropped out of the British charts after two weeks. In America, Nonsuch was more successful, reaching number 97 and staying on the charts for 11 weeks. Years of internal difficulties and label battles kept the group from releasing any new material for much of the decade, however, and not until 1999 did the next XTC album, Apple Venus, Pt. 1, finally appear. Wasp Star (Apple Venus, Pt. 2) followed in mid-2000.

XTC's lack of commercial success isn't because their music isn't accessible -- their bright, occasionally melancholy, melodies flow with more grace than most bands -- it has more to do with the group constantly being out of step with the times. However, the band has left behind a remarkably rich and varied series of albums that make a convincing argument that XTC is the great lost pop band. ~ Stephen Thomas Erlewine, All Music Guide

GSOTD: Earth Died Screaming

"Earth Died Screaming" by TOM WAITS

Rudy's on the midway
And Jacob's in the hole
The monkey's on the ladder
The devil shovels coal
With crows as big as airplanes
The lion has three heads
And someone will eat the skin that he sheds
And the earth died screaming
The earth died screaming
While I lay dreaming of you
Well hell doesn't want you
And heaven is full
Bring me some water
Put it in this skull
I walk between the raindrops
Wait in Bug House Square
And the army ants
They leave nothin' but the bones
And the earth died screaming
While I lay dreaming of you

There was thunder
There was lightning
Then the stars went out
And the moon fell from the sky
It rained mackerel
It rained trout
And the great day of wrath has come
And here's mud in your big red eye
The poker's in the fire
And the locusts take the sky
And the earth died screaming

JOTD: Yo Mama's So Fat... Noah's Ark

Yo mama's so fat, when she tried boarding Noah's Ark, Noah yelled out the window, ''We only need one of those!''

Beer Activated Girl

This is a great parody of the Dresden Dolls "Coin Operated Boy". Click on the title to view.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4L8d0r-rJ4

Beer Activated Girl - Lyrics

beer activated girl
sitting on my couch, likes to watch Sports World
i just giver her beer and she comes to life
doesn't like Real World
this is why I love my beer activated girl.

she's not plastic or too spastic
very loving not dramatic
who could ever ever ask for more
love with tasty beer goodness galore
just one purse no shoes to choose from
no more "do I have a big bum?"
no more "does this dress make me look fat?"
she will never want to own a cat...

beer activated girl
inside of my heart she has found the pearl
will not diss on my friends BayWatch does not offend
poker nights a go and I'll never drink alone
oh yes poker nights a go and I'll never drink alone
no and I'll never drink alone
no and I'll never drink alone
no and I'll never drink alone
no and I'll never drink alone
not with my beer activated girl

I met her on a brewery tour I love her
she can tell the dif'rence between ale and lager
you'll not extract me from this beery fantasy
I can make homebrew and she'll never ask me
to pick up a chick flick at Blockbuster for her
and I'll never hear "nothing" if I ask what's wrong
if I screw up she'll just tell me what I goofed up on
there won't be big fights
like where were you last night
I waited up for you
why didn't you notice
my new haircut
slingback shoes
two pounds lost
fancy bra
new lip gloss
painted nails
choice of soup
fridge cozy
dental floss
clean baseboards
new nylons
manicure
pedicure
great lip wax
size 2 slacks
toothbrush rack
not from my beer activated girl

DANCE BREAK!

and since I have to just choose one
for my life she is the right one
no silicon bitch could be her match
I can even f**k her in the a$$

beer activated girl
she may not be real attracted to chicks
but I know she feels like she'd like to try
isn't that da bom? that is why I love
my beer activated girl
with her hot phone sex operator voice
saying that she wants me
she's not wearing panties
straight and to the point
that is why I love my
beer activated girl

GSOTD: Emotional Weather Report

"Emotional Weather Report" by TOM WAITS

late night and early morning low clouds
with a chance of fog
chance of showers into the afternoon
with variable high cloudiness
and gusty winds, gusty winds
at times around the corner of
Sunset and Alvorado
things are tough all over
when the thunder storms start
increasing over the southeast
and south central portions
of my apartment, I get upset
and a line of thunderstorms was
developing in the early morning
ahead of a slow moving coldfront
cold blooded
with tornado watches issued shortly
before noon Sunday, for the areas
including, the western region
of my mental health
and the northern portions of my
ability to deal rationally with my
disconcerted precarious emotional
situation, it's cold out there
colder than a ticket taker's smile
at the Ivar Theatre, on a Saturday night
flash flood watches covered the
southern portion of my disposition
there was no severe weather well
into the afternoon, except for a lone gust of
wind in the bedroom
in a high pressure zone, covering the eastern
portion of a small suburban community
with a 103 and millibar high pressure zone
and a weak pressure ridge extending from
my eyes down to my cheeks cause since
you left me baby
and put the vice grips on my mental health
well the extended outlook for an
indefinite period of time until you
come back to me baby is high tonight
low tomorrow, and precipitation is
expected

RIP: Aaron Spelling

JOTD: Dubya, Obviously Not Jewish

One day George W. went out to dinner with a Jewish friend. The friend recommended a kosher place nearby.

They arrived and Dubya's friend ordered them both the house specialty: matzo ball soup. The waiter brought the bowls and George looked at the soup suspiciously, but his friend urged him to try at least one taste. So he took a bite of matzo ball and slurped some soup and clearly liked it.

After Dubya was finished he said, "Mmm mmm, that was good! But tell me, do you Jewish folks eat other parts of the matzo, or just the balls?"

El Mozote's KASOTD: How Long

"How Long" by ACE

How long has this been going on?
How long has this been going on?

Well if friends with their fancy persuasion
Don't admit that it's part of a scheme
Then I can't help but have my suspicions
'Cause I ain't quite as dumb as I seem.
And you said you was never intending
To break up our scene this a-way
But there ain't any use in pretending.
It could happen to us any day.

How long has this been going on?
How long has this been going on?

Oh, your friends with their fancy persuasion
Don't admit that it's part of a scheme.
But I can't help but have my suspicions
'Cause I ain't quite as dumb as I seem.
Oh, you said you was never intending
To break up our scene this a-way,
But there ain't any use in pretending.
It could happen to us any day.

And how long has this been going on?
How long has this been going on?
How long?
How long has this been going on?
How long has this been going on?
How long has this been going on?
How long?
How long has this been going on

GSOTD: Goin' Out West

"Goin' Out West" by TOM WAITS

Well I'm goin' out west
Where the wind blows tall
'Cause Tony Franciosa
Used to date my ma
They got some money out there
They're giving it away
I'm gonna do what I want
Do what I want
And I'm gonna get paid

Little brown sausages
Lying in the sand
I ain't no extra baby
I'm a leading man
Well my parole officer
He's found dead
With my Olds 88
And the devil on a leash
My Olds 88
And the devil on a leash

Well I know karate, Voodoo too
I'm gonna make myself available to you
I don't need no make up
I got real scars
I got hair on my chest
I look good without a shirt on

Well I don't lose my composure
In a high speed chase
Well my friends think I'm ugly
I got a masculine face
I got some dragstrip courage
I can really drive em'dead
I'm gonna change my name
To Hannibal or maybe
Just Rex
Change my name to Hannibal
Or maybe just Rex

I'm gonna drive all night
Hit some speed
I'm gonna wait for the sun
To shine down on me
I cut a hole in my roof
In the shape of a heart

And I'm goin' out west
Where they'll appreciate me
Goin' out west
Goin' out west

The Commitments

This is one of my favorite movies. I saw it yesterday for the first time in nearly 10 years. Amazing movie!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

BY ROGER EBERT / August 16, 1991

Cast & Credits

Jimmy Rabbitte: Robert Arkins
Steven Clifford: Michael Aherne
Deco Cuffe: Andrew Strong
Imelda Quirke: Angeline Ball
Natalie Murphy: Maria Doyle
Joey Fagan: Johnny Murphy
Mickah Wallace: Dave Finnegan
Bernie McGloughlin: Bronagh Gallagher

20th Century-Fox Presents A Film Directed By Alan Parker. Produced By Roger Randall-Cutler And Lynda Myles. Photographed By Gale Tattersall. Written By Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais And Roddy Doyle. Based On The Novel By Doyle. Edited By Gerry Hambling. Running Time: 117 Minutes. Classified R (For Profanity).

Alan Parker's "The Commitments" is a loud, rollicking, comic extravaganza about a rock band from the poorest precincts of North Dublin that decides to play soul music. The organizer of the band is the lean, ingenious Jimmy Rabbitte (Robert Arkins), whose suggestion is greeted with puzzlement by his friends. They like soul music, yes, but they don't particularly identify with it. Rabbitte's logic is persuasive: "The Irish are the blacks of Europe. Dubliners are the blacks of Ireland. North Dubliners are the blacks of Dublin." The movie is based on a novel by Roddy Doyle, a North Dublin school teacher, but it is founded on charm. Parker introduces a Dickensian gallery of characters, throws them all into the pot, keeps them talking, and makes them sing a lot. The result is a movie that doesn't lead anywhere in particular and may not have a profound message - other than that it's hell at the top, however low the top may be. But the movie is filled with life and energy, and the music is honest. "The Commitments" is one of the few movies about a fictional band that's able to convince us the band is real and actually plays together.

Jimmy Rabbitte is the mercurial force at the center of the group, holding it together, but the real star of the music in the movie is a large, shambling, unkempt young man named Deco Cuffe (Andrew Strong). After Rabbitte has disappointing luck at a series of auditions for his new band (there's a funny montage showing the would-be talent knocking at his door), he finds Deco at a wedding party, where he picks up the microphone and begins to sing while the band is on break.

Strong's discovery in real life was scarcely less of a happy chance: He is the 16-year-old son of a Dublin singer that Parker was using to rehearse with, and when the father grew hoarse, the son stepped in, and Parker cast him on the spot. He's one of those oversize, big-voiced natural talents, with the look of Meat Loaf and the verbal style of Joe Cocker, and he gives the music in the movie a driving energy.

Meanwhile, backstage stories multiply. The oldest member of the group is Joey Fagan (Johnny Murphy), who claims to have toured America with all of the greats, from Wilson Pickett to Little Richard, and he is indeed an accomplished session musician. But he is even more accomplished at sessions between the sheets, and with great smoothness and subtlety he makes his way through all three women who sing backup for the band. Parker has fun letting that level of the story sort of happen in the background; like Robert Altman, he is able to capture the spontaneous nature of real life by letting several stories unfold at the same time.

"The Commitments" is so much fun that maybe it's unfair of me to expect anything more. But I was rather disappointed that the movie seemed to dissipate toward the end. The band is created with great conviction, we feel we really know several of its members, and then Parker seems to choose music over story, as the band members quarrel offstage but spend most of their time onstage, playing.

Could there have been something more? Parker never promises us a profound human drama here, and the band is so good that maybe music was the best way to go. But I was left with sort of an empty feeling, as if after the characters were developed into believable people, Parker couldn't find anywhere to go with them. As film, this is not one of the major works by the man who directed "Midnight Express," "Birdy," "Shoot the Moon" and "Mississippi Burning." But as music and human comedy, it works just fine.

JOTD: Camouflage Clothing

There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant.

"It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."

"That's very sensible, sir." At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned.

"Get my brown pants."

GSOTD: I'm Your Late Night Evening Prostitute

"I'm Your Late Night Evening Prostitute" by TOM WAITS

Well I got here at eight and I'll be here till two
I'll try my best to entertain you and
Please don't mind me if I get a bit crude
I'm your late night evening prostitute

So drink your martinis and stare at the moon
Don't mind me I'll continue to croon and
Don't mind me if I get a bit lewd
I'm your late night evening prostitute

And dance, have a good time
I'll continue to shine
Yes Dance, have a good time
Don't mind me if I slip upon a rhyme

Well I got here at eight and I'll be here till two
I'll try my best to entertain you and
Please don't mind me if I get a bit crude
I'm your late night evening prostitute
I'm your late night evening prostitute

Band To Watch: Notorious MSG

From Wikipedia.

The Notorious MSG is a performing trio of Chinese gangsta rappers who sing about their rise to fame and fortune, survival on the streets, and boasting innuendos regarding women and Chinese food. Their group name is a parody of famous post-mortem rapper, Notorious BIG (aka Biggie Smalls).

What sets them apart from other rappers in the hip-hop world is that they are more an orchestrated act than outright, born-and-bred rappers. First and foremost they are entertainers, and their lyrics, while usually explicit in nature, are geared toward humor and full of double entendres. They fuse background beats and lyrics with various flavors of Chinese words, phrases and sexual connotations related to foodstuffs.

One really important note about their lyrics, is that while they come off with a "fresh off the boat" immigrant style, they put in large amounts of current pop culture references into their songs.

On October 2, 2005, Funky Buddha was shot in the chest and the arm after leaving a restaurant in NYC Chinatown. He died one hour later in the hospital. Currently, the suspects are still at large. It is rumored that the death of Funky Buddha may be a giant hoax, especially considering the band's name Notorious MSG is a homage to Notorious B.I.G.

Shortly thereafter, they had a replacement join their group. Known as The Hunan Bomb, they had all met in the kitchen of the Chinese restaurant they all worked in.

Their Story

The group got their start in the summer of 2002. The group (and previous job) is comprised of:

Hong Kong Fever, their ringleader, is from Hong Kong. Worked as a waiter

Down-Lo Mein (or D-Lo), the "yellow gigolo", is from Taiwan. Worked as a cook

Funky Buddha (Sept. 8, 1973 - Oct. 2, 2005), the completely useless slacker of the group, is from mainland China. Worked as a dishwasher

The Hunan Bomb, replaced Funky Buddha, is from South Korea. Ex-Underground pit fighter

They decided that being rappers was a far better job, so they quit the restaurant game at The Crazy Wok and started writing lyrics.

Their website had a few singles for download since they are a grass roots group and had to get the word out. Their first cut, Wok the Party was received with mediocre fanfare. Shortly thereafter, they came out with three new very popular singles that showed their potential for cutting addicting rhymes to solid background beats.

The Singles

Straight out of Canton, whose name appears to borrow from Straight Outta Compton by N.W.A.. Their hardest edge song at the time, and still one of the most popular to fans. The version of this song that came out with their first album was enhanced even more, filling in a lot of instrumental bridges.

Dim Sum Girl, a love ballad about the heartbreak of Hong Kong Fever from his former love, a dim sum girl (woman pushing around carts of dim sum in Chinese restaurants).

A few other seasonal songs came out, but were made more as filler, and quickly forgotten about. One of them was another parody, this time from the traditional Scottish holiday song, Auld Lang Syne.

On November 29, 2005, they released a new single, Chinatown Hustler, with the promise of a buyable single and video shortly. It's also the introduction of their new party member, and he sounds like a slightly more coherent Funky Buddha.

The Album

In the Fall of 2004, they came out with their first album, Die Hungry. It only clocked in at around 35 minutes, with 4 interludes and 8 songs (1 remixed). Short compared to most of today's full-length albums, but an impressive effort considering how they started out. Here is the track list:

Intro
Straight out of Canton
Heat it Up
Hong Kong Heartbreak (Sketch)
Dim Sum Girl
Chinese Funk
Buddha Time (Sketch)
Egg Rollin'
Last Meal (Sketch)
Streets of Chinatown
Yellow Fever (feat. Whip Montez)
Straight out of Canton (Iron Wok Remix)

Live Performances

In 2003 and 2004 they started to give small, organized concerts, generally to a few hundred people at any given time. One of their earliest performances was given at Rutgers University. Their most recent performance, given in February 2005, just outside of Los Angeles, was part of a night of Asian-themed standup comedy.

After concerts they stay around to mingle with the audience, sign autographs and have their pictures taken. They seem extremely patient and friendly with their fans. Another thing to note is that they always stay in their character.

GSOTD: I Don't Wanna Grow Up

"I Don't Wanna Grow Up" by TOM WAITS

When I'm lyin' in my bed at night
I don't wanna grow up
Nothin' ever seems to turn out right
I don't wanna grow up
How do you move in a world of fog
That's always changing things
Makes me wish that I could be a dog
When I see the price that you pay
I don't wanna grow up
I don't ever wanna be that way
I don't wanna grow up

Seems like folks turn into things
That they'd never want
The only thing to live for
Is today...
I'm gonna put a hole in my TV set
I don't wanna grow up
Open up the medicine chest
And I don't wanna grow up
I don't wanna have to shout it out
I don't want my hair to fall out
I don't wanna be filled with doubt
I don't wanna be a good boy scout
I don't wanna have to learn to count
I don't wanna have the biggest amount
I don't wanna grow up

Well when I see my parents fight
I don't wanna grow up
They all go out and drinking all night
And I don't wanna grow up
I'd rather stay here in my room
Nothin' out there but sad and gloom
I don't wanna live in a big old Tomb
On Grand Street

When I see the 5 o'clock news
I don't wanna grow up
Comb their hair and shine their shoes
I don't wanna grow up
Stay around in my old hometown
I don't wanna put no money down
I don't wanna get me a big old loan
Work them fingers to the bone
I don't wanna float a broom
Fall in love and get married then boom
How the hell did I get here so soon
I don't wanna grow up

JOTD: Lost in the Mall

A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The cop asked, "What's he like?" The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big tits."

GSOTD: Gun Street Girl

"Gun Street Girl" by TOM WAITS

Falling James in the Tahoe mud
Stick around to tell us all the tale
Well he fell in love with a Gun Street girl
And now he's dancing in the Birmingham jail
Dancing in the Birmingham jail

He took a hundred dollars off a slaughterhouse Joe
Brought a brand new Michigan twenty-gauge
He got all liquored up on that road house corn
Blew a hole in the hood of a yellow Corvette
A hole in the hood of a yellow Corvette

He bought a second-hand Nova from a Cuban Chinese
And dyed his hair in the bathroom of a Texaco
With a pawnshop radio, quarter past four
He left for Waukegan at the slamming of the door
Left for Waukegan at the slamming of the door

I said John, John, he's long gone
Gone to Indiana, ain't never coming home
I said John, John, he's long gone
Gone to Indiana, ain't never coming home

He's sitting in a sycamore in St. John's wood
Soaking day-old bread in kerosene
Well he was blue as a robin's egg and brown as a hog
He's staying out of circulation 'til the dogs get tired
Out of circulation 'til the dogs get tired

Shadow fixed the toilet with an old trombone
He never get up in the morning on a Saturday
Sitting by the Erie with a bull-whipped dog
Telling everyone he saw, "They went that-a-way, boys"
Telling everyone he saw, "They went that-a-way"

Now the rain's like gravel on an old tin roof
And the Burlington Northern pulling out of the world
Now a head full of bourbon and a dream in the straw
And a Gun Street girl was the cause of it all
A Gun Street girl was the cause of it all

Well he's riding in the shadow by the St. Joe ridge
Hearing the click-clack tapping of a blind man's cane
He was pulling into Baker on a New Year's Eve
One eye on a pistol and the other on the door
One eye on a pistol and the other on the door

Miss Charlotte took her satchel down to King Fish Row
Smuggled in a brand new pair of alligator shoes
With her fireman's raincoat and her long yellow hair
Well they tied her to a tree with a skinny millionaire
They tied her to a tree with a skinny millionaire

I said John, John, he's long gone
Gone to Indiana, ain't never coming home
I said John, John, he's long gone
Gone to Indiana, ain't never coming home

Banging on the table with an old tin cup
Sing I'll never kiss a Gun Street girl again
Never kiss a Gun Street girl again
I'll never kiss a Gun Street girl again

I said John, John, he's long gone
Gone to Indiana, ain't never coming home
I said John, John, he's long gone
Gone to Indiana, ain't never coming home

Arctic Monkeys Lose Bassist

Arctic Monkeys bassist Andy Nicholson has left the riot van for good. In an announcement on their website, the remaining Monkeys explained that Nicholson-- who has not been touring with the band due to "fatigue"-- "is no longer with the band."

They have not yet named a permanent replacement for Nicholson, but the Monkeys do say, "Nick O'Malley, who stood in for Andy while he was absent from the recent tour of North America, shall carry on playing bass for the remaining shows this summer."

"We all wish Andy the very best," they say, and while it may not be quite the same as before, you can still catch Arctic Monkeys at any of their remaining dates this summer.

Wherever people say they are:

06-23 Scheesel, Germany - Hurricane Festival
06-24 Berlin, Germany - Columbia
06-25 Neuhausen ob Eck, Germany - Southside Festival
06-30 Belfort, France - Eurockeenes Festival
07-01 Werchter, Belgium - Werchter Festival
07-02 Roskilde, Denmark - Roskilde Festival
07-04 Kristiansand, Norway - Quart Festival
07-05 Göteborg, Sweden - Accelerator Festival
07-06 Stockholm, Sweden - Accelerator Festival
07-08 Naas, Ireland - Punchestown Racecourse (Oxegen Festival)
07-09 Balado, Scotland - T in the Park Festival
07-28 Auckland, New Zealand - St. James Theatre
07-30 Perth, Australia - Metro City
08-01 Adelaide, Australia - Thebarton Theatre
08-02 Melbourne, Australia - The Palace
08-03 Melbourne, Australia - The Palace
08-05 Brisbane, Australia - The Arena
08-06 Brisbane, Australia - The Arena
08-08 Sydney, Australia - Enmore Theatre
08-09 Sydney, Australia - Enmore Theatre
08-12 Osaka, Japan - Summersonic Festival
08-13 Tokyo, Japan - Summersonic Festival
08-18 Salzburg, Austria - Frequency Festival
08-19 Hasselt, Belgium - Pukkelpop Festival
08-20 Biddinghuizen, Netherlands - Lowlands Festival
08-26 Reading, England - Carling Festival
08-27 Leeds, England - Carling Festival

Grant Lee Phillips Releasing Album, Tour To Follow

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Grant Lee Phillips will be previewing his latest US tour with a kick-off show at Hollywood's Largo on Wednesday, June 28 to celebrate the release of his much-anticipated new album, “nineteeneighties” which bows on June 27 (Zoe/Rounder). Phillips will then return to the road on July 25 for a further 13 dates, including shows in Seattle, San Francisco, Chicago (two nights) and Philadelphia, before playing New York's Knitting Factory on August 10. The tour winds up in Northampton, MA, on August 13.

The successor to 2004's highly acclaimed “Virginia Creeper”, “nineteeneightees” looks back on an aspect of that decade which is often overlooked by the modern nostalgia crowd. Phillips himself had just relocated to Los Angeles when the likes of New Order, the Cure and Echo and the Bunnymen (all of whom are covered on the album) first began breaking through in America. “A lot of us, who were fans, found real purpose in the search for new music during the early eighties, the discovery of something that wasn't readily being delivered over the airwaves,” Grant says. “Music that wasn't yanked off a rack and, for the most part, wasn't advertised, this was a treasure. The tangible upsurge of underground and alternative artists releasing great albums on small labels is what really captivated me.”

Grant will tour as a trio with David Carpenter on upright bass and Kevin Jarvis on drums and they will deliver a live show which will include songs from “nineteeneightees” as well as material from his personal musical past. He promises an unforgettable evening packed with old favorites - in every sense of the expression.

http://www.glidemagazine.com/

Jello Biafra Plans Spoken Word Album

Jun 20, 2006

Jello Biafra will be back to tormenting both sides of the aisle with a new spoken-word record out sometime this year.

The onetime Dead Kennedys front man will return to his spoken-word career sometime later this year, with In the Grip of Official Treason, which will cover such topics as “The Fall of Rome Under Bush,” “Iraqnophobia” and the full version of his collaboration with Ministry, “Ass Clowns in Toyland,” which surfaced on Ministry’s Rio Grande Blood

He’s asked fans to contribute cover art for the album, which has not been graced with a street date yet. In a post on his Alternative Tentacles label’s web site, he’s asked for ideas to be submitted by fans, though he doesn’t want “designs too reliant on Bush, Saddam, Condosleezza, etc., that will date the whole thing,” because apparently a spoken-word rant against Bush and the Iraq war couldn’t otherwise possibly be dated.

http://www.aversion.com/

JOTD: Mistaken Identity

A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her
over. He says, "You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"

GSOTD: Bad Liver and a Broken Heart

"Bad Liver and a Broken Heart" by TOM WAITS

Well I got a bad liver and a broken heart
yea I drunk me a river since you tore me apart
and I don't have a drinking problem
cept when I can't get a drink
And I wish you'd a known her
we were quite a pair
she was sharp as a razor
and soft as a prayer
so welcome to the continuing saga
she was my better half
and I was just a dog
and so here am I slumped
I been chippied I been chumped
on my stool
so buy this fool, some spirits and libations
it's these railroad station bars
with all these conductors and the porters
and I'm all out of quarters
and this epitaph is the aftermath
yea I choose my path
hey come on Cath, he's a lawyer,
he ain't the one for ya
and no the moon ain't romantic
it's intimidating as hell
and some guy's trying to sell
me a watch
And so I'll meet you at the
bottom of a bottle of
bargain Scotch
I got me a bottle and a dream
it's so maudlin it seems

you can name your poison
go on ahead and make some noise
I ain't sentimental
this ain't a purchase it's a rental
and it's purgatory, hey
what's your story, well
I don't even care
cause I got my own double-cross to bear

and I'll see your Red Label
and I'll raise you one more
and you can pour me a cab,
I just can't drink no more
cause it don't douse the flames
that are started by dames
It ain't like asbestos
it don't do nothing but
rest us assured
and substantiate the rumors
that you've heard.

NOT TO BE MISTAKEN FOR THE WHITE STRIPES

MANCHESTER, Tenn. - Deadboy and the Elephantmen must have gotten sick of being compared to the White Stripes. They're not a male-female guitar-drums duo any more; at Bonnaroo on Sunday afternoon, they were a trio, with a bass player. It hasn't made their music any less stark or single-minded.

Dax Riggs still writes blunt, basic songs--dirges, blues, two-chord stomps, power-chorded hard rock--with the drums and bass in lockstep with his guitar. The lyrics are, by and large, about death, with sidelines in blood, violence and final judgment. He's after something primal, the clear-eyed acceptance of mortality found in old blues and folk songs (and in a Pixies song he borrows, "Wave of Mutilation"). And when he leaps from full-throated hard-rock singing to falsetto howl, he captures it.

JOTD: Little Green People = Funny

The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players.

He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition.

"Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win."

"Done," shouted the young golfer. The leprechaun was very pleased with conniving ways, and chuckled merrily.

When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker.

"Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records. What is it?"

"Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar.

GSOTD: Chocolate Jesus

"Chocolate Jesus" by TOM WAITS

Don't go to church on Sunday
Don't get on my knees to pray
Don't memorize the books of the Bible
I got my own special way
Bit I know Jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more
I fall on my knees every Sunday
At Zerelda Lee's candy store
Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied
Well I don't want no Anna Zabba
Don't want no Almond Joy
There ain't nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well it's the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate Jesus
Can satisfy my soul
(Solo)
When the weather gets rough
And it's whiskey in the shade
It's best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But that's ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait
Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me
Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied